Why I Tweet and Blog: Captured by Beryl Lieff Benderly

You know, many people ask me - why do I talk to science reporters so often.  They ask this and then claim that science reporters are just all kinds of evil because they always get quotes and facts and concepts wrong.  Well, that has really not been my experience.  Sure, I have my examples of problems.  But overall, I have been impressed and pleased more often than not.  And here is a great example. I was interviewed a while back by Beryl Lieff Benderly about my somewhat obsessive experimentation with social media for communicating science.  And then, of course, I forgot about it.  So I was exceptionally pleased when I saw the story come out today: To tweet or not to tweet? | Science Careers.  Beryl did a remarkably good job in capturing the essence of my thoughts about Tweeting, Blogging, social media, and science communication.

If you want to know what I think about how to not get overwhelmed with Twitter, how to not spend too much time on social media, and what I think abotu aboutb social media, you don't need to wait for me to try to write my thoughts on the topic down.  Read what Beryl wrote.

The Hundred Event

Welp, I like to arrive fashionably late to most parties (don't want to seem over-eager, you know), but my timing here is bordering on ridiculous, so.... I figured I better talk about the Hundred Event before it's a good HUNDRED days later!

Photo above by Awake Photography

Two weeks ago, my friend Brittany (of Birch & Brass Vintage Rentals here in Austin) and I packed our little bags and headed up to the Dallas Warwick Melrose for a weekend at The Hundred Event. She supplied the vintage china, glassware, and manned the floral arrangements all for the Sunday Brunch, and I offered up my humble knowledge of photography for two 101 classes on Saturday, as well as helped photograph the Sunday Brunch and headshots alongside Shalyn.

The weekend was a whirlwind and I hardly know how to tackle my thoughts on it all. I am introverted and extroverted in equal measure, in that I love being around people while in the moment, but I find it all very draining and need plenty of alone time to recharge afterwards.  The weekend consisted of meeting some of my long-time favorite bloggers and friends (looking at you, Bridget, Megan, and Dayna!), meeting lots of fabulous new-to-me faces,  public speaking and the natural anxiety that begets, and plenty of general socialization and high-strungness that are always a bi-product of these types of conferences. Like last year at Texas Style Council, I found myself outrageously bad-tempered for a good three days after I got home - the low that often comes immediately after the high.

But one thing I can certainly say I took away from this weekend (besides a super shitty mood) was a reminder of why I'm still so fond of this platform we call Blogging, and how GOOD it has been to me in my life. While I've become all-consumed by my photography business lately, my first love is still writing and social media, and the Hundred Event weekend was a needed reminder of that.

At this point, rather than re-cap everything in great detail, I think I'll just leave a few photos from the weekend and link you all to some of the truly incredible brands that sponsored the event. Seriously, I'm so impressed by these guys! And to Grace, Lauren, Megan, and Bridget - thanks for putting together such a fun weekend for all of us to enjoy. You did a fabulous job, especially considering that this was your first time putting on a conference, and I know all of us are hoping it will be a yearly thing! :)

^^Brunch at the beautiful Aldredge House^^

 

^^cakes by Cake Walk^^

 

 

 

^^Vintage Rentals by Birch & Brass^^

photo above by Shalyn

Brands to browse: Joules // Minnetonka // Love Ophelia (softest and best robes ever!!) // Twine Interiors // Lily Jade // Bungalow Magazine // Peacock Alley // 

and awesome donations from:

Lily Jade // Minted // Meg-Made // Fancy Face // Laura Ashley // The Giving Keys // White Plum // Design Darling // Sonnet James // Shop Strands // Pame Designs // Susan Posnick // Artifact Uprising  // Lulu & Georgia  // West Elm // Blowfish Shoes // Minnetonka  // Tech Armor // Maison Miru  // GiGi NY // Heidi Klein  // Boden // Modern Celebrations  // Knotty Tots // Jennifer Anne Styles // Whole Parenting // Little Dovie

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Things I don't miss (about blogging)

Dress here from Target

I have become what I hate. That blogger that always blogs about how much they don't blog. UGH. But really, it's been a couple months since a style post or a post with any photos that definitively prove I'm alive and my blog hasn't been taken over by robots, so I thought I'd make that happen. 

Since I've cut back on blogging dramatically, a few things have happened, the most notable being that I am actually much happier and more at peace with my life. I never had any major complaints about blogging, and I don't regret the years that I was really committed to pumping out multiple posts per week, but now, it simply doesn't quite fit into my life the same way it used to. Maybe someday it will again. But for now, here's a few things I've come to realize that, well, I DON'T miss...

1. Constantly feeling like I need new clothes for "outfit posts." I mean, seriously. How do you fashion bloggers do it? I know you get a lot of free clothes, so I guess that's mainly it. But I always felt like every time I got a free shirt, I needed to go out and buy a new skirt or pair of pants to match it, or a new pair of shoes to match that free dress. Bottom line, I suck at fashion blogging, and didn't really enjoy it, and can't tell you how refreshing it is to wake up every day and put on a shitty outfit and just not give a shit.

2. Along those same lines, begging people in my life to take "outfit" photos of me, which often didn't end well. It's no secret, I'm mainly referring to my husband here. The man hates everything to do with pictures. Both being in them and taking them. Ironic, since he's married to a professional portrait photographer. So it was this constant ridiculous struggle: 

Me: "Babe, I need outfit pics tonight."

Matthew: "Noooooooooo NOT AGAAAAINN!!!"

Me: "You're so unsupportive of my blog! Why are you such a jerk! Other blogger husbands love taking pictures of their wives!" 

(? - unsupported claim, needs further research)

*Fight breaks out*

Yup, don't miss that.

3. Comparing lives. I've really never gone down that path too far (thankfully), though I know some people really struggle with it. But it's easy. It's easy to read a blog and see that peephole view at someone's curated reality, and be like, "well CRAP! My _____ (life, blog, wardrobe, home, design skills, husband, bank account, timeline-for-starting-a-family) SUCKS compared to hers!" I've experienced it a couple times, and it's a slippery slope.  Lately, I've truly enjoyed simply living in MY life for a while. Appreciating it, working on it, truly being in it.

4. Trolls. Critics. Assholes. You all know the ones I mean. I'm not all that sensitive - in fact, compared to some people, I have the skin of an alligator. I wish everyone would like me, but I know that's not possible, so when I hear about someone who doesn't, it stings for a second, but then reason weighs out and I'm like, "....mehhh." But still. I've truly enjoyed living my offline life and not wondering what misguided conclusions bitchy strangers on the Internet are drawing about me. 

5. Pretending like I have something to say when I don't. I can't tell you how many times I cranked out a post that had no heart behind it, just to meet a quota and appease my sponsors at the time. I know a lot of my readers saw through that. And I'm happy those days are behind me. Although now, I seem to have the opposite problem. I have plenty of things I'd love to write about, but I'm mostly just too lazy to do it (or too busy, really. J. Noel Photography keeps me on my toes these days).

Having said all that, there are probably equally as many things that I miss about blogging. I will always have a soft place in my heart for this medium and all the good it has brought into my life. I haven't given up on it (obviously!), but our relationship has changed. Lately I've seen blogging as a whole from a bird's eye view versus the view from in-the-thick-of-things, and it's helped me to reevaluate and move priorities around. I'm lucky to be able to do that now, since this blog is no longer my primary source of income. 

Anywhoo. Happy Friday, my friends. Thanks for reading today. I appreciate you, and hope you have an excellent weekend!

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Hello, March

^^proof I'm still alive. This was taken on a walk this morning, during the March Arctic Blast of 2014 here in Texas. Giant puffy winter coat not shown. Vest from Stitchfix.

Woah. March came quickly, y’all! I’ve missed you, I really have, but it’s been so nice to wake up in the morning without that panicky “what the bleep am I going to blog about today?!” feeling. Other more responsible bloggers have their posts planned and scheduled days in advance, but that has never been me. I require a sense of slightly frenzied urgency to get things done in life, for the most part. For example, I had an entire month to pre-blog things for March, and I’m writing this on Thursday afternoon, February 27th. Which I actually feel is a small triumph considering it isn’t Monday morning, March 3rd, when I plan to post this. :)

Anyway. February was a busy month! Let’s see. There was Matthew’s birthday and our anniversary and Valentine’s Day and the law Bar exam for Matthew, which is obviously a huge deal and signifies the end of the end of law school, assuming he passes. Now the poor guy has two months of solid freaking out before exam results are released in May.  It should be really fantastic.

Nothing too terribly exciting happend in the last several weeks - though I did experience several eye-opening revelations regarding food, spurred by a couple documentaries Matthew and I stumbled into watching out of sheer lack of other options on Netflix. I can say that these revelations are actually quite immense in nature and will forever change how I eat and how I view food. Post on this to come, you can bet your bum on it. A wise friend (the lovely Ashley) said to me the other day, “once your eyes have been opened and you've walked out of the cave, you dont go back unless you are trying to get others out, too.”

In terms of social media this last month, I have actually done some purging and cleansing of my accounts, specifically on Instagram. I unfollowed a lot of people, not because I hate them or even dislike them, but because I think everyone has the right to filter what they fill their minds with every day. Some people’s Instagram feeds just didn’t interest me anymore, and many of them were ladies with new babies, which are of course wonderful and adorable, but when you’re scrolling through your Instagram and you see Baby, Baby, Baby, Pregnancy Announcement, Bump Pic, Baby, Baby, Bump Pic, Baby, Pregnancy Announcement, Baby… and then you start it all over again on Facebook... and you are not in that stage of life yet and possibly disgruntled and/or confused on that topic, it can cause needless negative feelings, and I am just all about minimizing the negative feelings I feel.  Know what I’m sayin’?

Oh, how’s the photography biz going, you ask? Why, fantastically, thank you. I expected January and February to be very slow months, and February was more so, but I’ve managed to maintain a steady flow of clients and sessions, and I have even taken on an intern starting this week to help me out with tasks in the next couple months! Sweet.

And maybe that’s all for now. Just a general overview of some things going on round these parts, to ease us back into March. Thanks for reading, loves, and for coming back again even after this month-long hiatus. You deserve a medal. Happy Monday. :)

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Happy February, see you in March

I haven't blogged in over a week, and it has been the weirdest thing - the first time in years that I took a little time off of blogging for reasons other than vacation or a loss in my family. I took the week off of blogging simply because I have nothing to say, and because my heart just isn't in it right now. The funny thing is, though, I am happier than I've been in longer than I can remember. I wake up every morning in love with my home and my family, and excited to get to work on a business I'm so passionate about. A million thoughts are swimming around in my head 24/7, and none of them have to do with blogging, or even leave any room for thoughts about blogging. I truly am a one-thing-at-a-time kind of girl. That worries me for when we have children, but that's another post for another day.

I haven't really read another blog in weeks, maybe months, and I'm OK with that.

I don't have the urge to share every aspect of every moment of my life anymore (slight exaggeration), and I'm OK with that.

I don't miss outfit posts at all, and the way planning for the next one always made me feel like my wardrobe isn't good enough. Now it all just seems silly.

Bottom line, I think I've grown out of what my blog was before. I think it served it's purpose for a time, and I have no regrets. But now I need to really figure out what I want this blog to be going forward.

One thing I know for sure is that most readers can just tell when your heart isn't in it. I believe that everything you do in life will be received one thousand times better if you do it from a place of true joy and passion for that work. And I just haven't had that for blogging since somewhere in the fall, and I think I need to take a step back and re-evaluate. I don't think I'll ever decide to shut this blog down. I really, truly do enjoy blogging. Or at least I did, and I think I can get that back. I just need a break.

So I'm taking February off. February, because it's a shorter month, and because it's a cold month, and because it's the month of Matthew's birthday and our anniversary and the Bar Exam, and because there's a lot of brand maintenance I'd like to fully devote myself to in the next few weeks, before the blossoming of a busy spring for my photography business.

I'll be be back in March. March begins my favorite time of year in Austin, and it just seems like the perfect time to start fresh here. I'm going to really try to devote myself to getting caught up in February - caught up on putting my home together, caught up on emails in my blog inbox, caught up on that brand maintenance I mentioned, and hopefully all of that catching up will leave me invigorated and creative again when it comes to this online space that really is so dear to me.

I'll still be posting as per usual on Instagram if you'd like to keep up with me there, otherwise, I'll see you all back here in a few weeks. Happy February and happy month of love... :)

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Changes to Story of My Life in 2014

Because this picture makes me chuckle. Gracie is like "no more pictures, ma!"

Happy third of January, my friends! Hope you had a fabulous week-after-Christmas as we're all easing back into regular life. My office is still a bit chaotic here, but I've cleared off a nice little space for myself, and I'm mostly back in business. :)

I've been wanting to outline the changes you'll be seeing here on SOML in the coming months, most notably to how I run my advertising. To cut to the chase, I will be majorly scaling back the advertorial content on this blog - to the tune of no more Friday Features and less sidebar ads in general. The content on this blog will be purely my own, with the exception of a (maybe) weekly giveaway, occasional courtesy-of items worked into style posts as usual, and very occasional reviews if I'm offered an opportunity I think you'll enjoy hearing about. 

Why am I cutting back on advertising, you ask? For a couple main reasons, really. One, my attention has turned a great deal towards my photography business (which has much more income-earning potential than this blog), and I don't feel I have the time and energy to run a really booming blog-business anymore. I don't like to half-ass things, so something had to give. I was previously running giveaways on Tuesdays and Friday Features on Fridays, which put a lot of pressure on me to put up lots of other original content in between those posts. That isn't sustainable for me anymore, as my clients and my business have to be my #1 priority. So, no more Friday Features. 

My second over-arching reason for this is because blogging has not felt fun for me in a long time. I started this blog way-back-when in 2010 because I love to write and I love to connect with people, and then it morphed and changed into something else for a while (more of a business), and that was totally OK while it lasted. I have zero regrets. But that way of running things doesn't work for me anymore, and so I'm changing it. I'm going to get back to my roots a bit and blog because I love to write and I love to create good content that comes from an inspired place - a place I haven't been in far too long.

So what does that mean for you? Not really a whole lot, I guess. You'll just see less advertorial stuff (which, let's face it, no one really loves as much as original content anyway), and probably a little less posting in general. I'm going to aim for about three times per week. 

Also, if you have been thinking about advertising with me, here's a little more info on the changes now in place for my sponsors:

+ there will now be no more than 20 sidebar sponsor ads at a time (where previously there were 30-35)

+ sidebar ads are now more affordable to reflect the fact that blogger-sponsors will no longer receive a   

  "feature," however I didn't drop the prices TOO low because I still expect you'll receive a lot of good 

   traffic since there are about 33% less sidebar ads to compete with on click-throughs. 

+ Shop sponsor ad spots cost a tad bit more because they also come with an individual giveaway, 

   which brings a lot more exposure to your business than just the sidebar ad alone.  

All pricing info and more details HERE. I will be accepting new sponsors beginning in February, as I am still currently phasing out some sidebar ads to bring my tally down to 20. 

On a final note, thank you all for sticking with me as this blog (and me! and my life!) has changed bit by bit. I don't know where I would be right now without this supportive community and how it's helped me to come into myself, so to speak. I am forever grateful and indebted. I am still about two solid months behind on emails, so if you've written me a personal note lately, I WILL respond sometime in 2014. Hehe. Thank you again for your patience.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

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When a blog starts to suck

Shirt: c/o Lulu's, Leggings: gifted, Bag: Ruche, Shoes: c/o Minnetonka

Last week I received a comment from a reader about how much my blog is sucking lately, and I must say, I have to agree with her. 

When I started this blog three years ago, I was 23 years old and a housewife. I had almost no other responsibilities, so I decided to treat blogging like my full time job. I poured myself into it, and I don't regret that one single bit. I owe this blog and my wonderful readers so much. It has honestly been such a fun ride, and has taught me so much.

But I am an all or nothing kind of girl. I'm not very good at being awesome at more than one thing at a time, and lately, my all has gone to my photography business. Because I truly love it, yes, but also due to pure necessity. We need my business to pay our bills until Matthew finishes school and finds a job, which won't be for another 6+ months. So naturally, I have been investing a great deal of time, energy, and creativity into the biz (which, I'm happy to say, is booming), leaving very little for this blog. In turn, there's been too much sponsor stuff because I lack inspiration and don't have enough time to create great content in between advertorial posts, and I just feel like the authenticity and FUN is gone. For the first time, blogging has felt like an annoying chore, like scrubbing a toilet, but I've continued doing it because it provides a little bit of income that we need. But I've been frustrated and annoyed by all of the trying too hard, and all of the curated realities... and mine is one of them. 

So what am I saying here? To be perfectly honest, I don't even really know myself. I don't want to shut this blog down completely. That would feel like cutting off an appendage, actually. It's become such a part of who I am. But I know that when you do something half-heardedly, when it no longer brings you joy, it starts to show. So I am in the process of majorly rethinking how I want blogging to fit into my life, and I guess I just ask for your patience while I do so. In the future, probably starting in December or January, I see a lot less advertorial stuff and probably a bit less posting, in general. The old phrase, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" comes to mind. I'd love to blog when I have something I really want to share, not because I'm trying to fit in a certain number of posts in between sponsor-related posts. 

Blogging is weird. 

How has social media changed you?

Day 8 Blogtember topic: Discuss ways that blogging or social media has changed you.

This one is difficult for me because blogging and social media has changed my life so much that I hardly know where to begin. For the sake of this exercise, I just went back to the very first post on my very first blog - if you’re wondering, it was on July 6th, 2008. It’s interesting, because I found that my writing voice and style has actually not changed much at all since then. But boy, so many other things sure have.

Blogging and social media have had many both positive and negative effects on my life. For one thing, they’ve caused this addiction in me to share my experiences with others. I used to live my life in a solitary fashion - you know, like most people do - but now, if I can’t photograph it, instagram it, tweet it, blog it, share it with the world, it almost feels like it wasn’t even worth doing. It’s such a strange thing, and when I put it that way, it sounds sort of negative (not to mention pathetic). But I find that in my life, this is a good thing. I am naturally disinclined to change, grow, experience new things, and get out of my comfort zone. Blogging and social media have helped me be less that way. Because, you know, my blog would be boring as hell if I remained a sad stagnant hermit covered in dog hair who mostly never leaves the house.

A second way that blogging, in particular, has changed me, is that it’s given me confidence I never, ever had before. I specifically remember being at the grocery store one day, a few months after I started Story of My Life and after I had picked up a few dozen or maybe a couple hundred readers by then. I remember noticing I had this extra spring in my step, and a stronger sense of self than I had ever had before. I remember noticing that and then immediately attributing it to my blog. People cared what I had to say, my great passion for writing was being affirmed, and I was connecting with people in a way I was missing in my “real” life! It just generally felt really nice. To have found a niche, a hobby, and something I knew I could excel at.

Social media has also caused me to be really freaking ADD/all-over-the-place, which I discussed in this post (the response to it was pretty incredible… so many of us suffer with this!). Since I already talked about it, I won’t go into anymore detail on that one. I’m getting a LITTLE better about this though. Re-training myself to focus when I really need to. It’s not easy.

And finally, this conversation would be so incomplete if I didn’t mention the way that blogging and social media have had an incredibly globalizing effect on my life - meaning, it’s brought the entire world right here into MY world. The things I have learned have been countless. The relationships I’ve made have been priceless. The art and talent I’ve been exposed to have been inspiring and invaluable. Basically, it's all made a giant world feel so much smaller and less intimidating. Maybe that’s the optimist in me talking. But I think it mainly just comes from a place of genuine passion for social media and other humans and their endless abilities to share and create.

What about you? How has blogging and social media changed you? Speak up in a comment or in the linkup below!