Things I don't miss (about blogging)

Dress here from Target

I have become what I hate. That blogger that always blogs about how much they don't blog. UGH. But really, it's been a couple months since a style post or a post with any photos that definitively prove I'm alive and my blog hasn't been taken over by robots, so I thought I'd make that happen. 

Since I've cut back on blogging dramatically, a few things have happened, the most notable being that I am actually much happier and more at peace with my life. I never had any major complaints about blogging, and I don't regret the years that I was really committed to pumping out multiple posts per week, but now, it simply doesn't quite fit into my life the same way it used to. Maybe someday it will again. But for now, here's a few things I've come to realize that, well, I DON'T miss...

1. Constantly feeling like I need new clothes for "outfit posts." I mean, seriously. How do you fashion bloggers do it? I know you get a lot of free clothes, so I guess that's mainly it. But I always felt like every time I got a free shirt, I needed to go out and buy a new skirt or pair of pants to match it, or a new pair of shoes to match that free dress. Bottom line, I suck at fashion blogging, and didn't really enjoy it, and can't tell you how refreshing it is to wake up every day and put on a shitty outfit and just not give a shit.

2. Along those same lines, begging people in my life to take "outfit" photos of me, which often didn't end well. It's no secret, I'm mainly referring to my husband here. The man hates everything to do with pictures. Both being in them and taking them. Ironic, since he's married to a professional portrait photographer. So it was this constant ridiculous struggle: 

Me: "Babe, I need outfit pics tonight."

Matthew: "Noooooooooo NOT AGAAAAINN!!!"

Me: "You're so unsupportive of my blog! Why are you such a jerk! Other blogger husbands love taking pictures of their wives!" 

(? - unsupported claim, needs further research)

*Fight breaks out*

Yup, don't miss that.

3. Comparing lives. I've really never gone down that path too far (thankfully), though I know some people really struggle with it. But it's easy. It's easy to read a blog and see that peephole view at someone's curated reality, and be like, "well CRAP! My _____ (life, blog, wardrobe, home, design skills, husband, bank account, timeline-for-starting-a-family) SUCKS compared to hers!" I've experienced it a couple times, and it's a slippery slope.  Lately, I've truly enjoyed simply living in MY life for a while. Appreciating it, working on it, truly being in it.

4. Trolls. Critics. Assholes. You all know the ones I mean. I'm not all that sensitive - in fact, compared to some people, I have the skin of an alligator. I wish everyone would like me, but I know that's not possible, so when I hear about someone who doesn't, it stings for a second, but then reason weighs out and I'm like, "....mehhh." But still. I've truly enjoyed living my offline life and not wondering what misguided conclusions bitchy strangers on the Internet are drawing about me. 

5. Pretending like I have something to say when I don't. I can't tell you how many times I cranked out a post that had no heart behind it, just to meet a quota and appease my sponsors at the time. I know a lot of my readers saw through that. And I'm happy those days are behind me. Although now, I seem to have the opposite problem. I have plenty of things I'd love to write about, but I'm mostly just too lazy to do it (or too busy, really. J. Noel Photography keeps me on my toes these days).

Having said all that, there are probably equally as many things that I miss about blogging. I will always have a soft place in my heart for this medium and all the good it has brought into my life. I haven't given up on it (obviously!), but our relationship has changed. Lately I've seen blogging as a whole from a bird's eye view versus the view from in-the-thick-of-things, and it's helped me to reevaluate and move priorities around. I'm lucky to be able to do that now, since this blog is no longer my primary source of income. 

Anywhoo. Happy Friday, my friends. Thanks for reading today. I appreciate you, and hope you have an excellent weekend!

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Oh look, it's me in a field again. (5 Days of Giveaways, Day 5: Free ShoeMint shoes!)

Shirt: Stitch Fix, Boots: c/o ShoeMint, Bag: c/o Ruche

Howdy friends! How are you liking all the fabulous giveaways the past few days? Some pretty good ones, eh? I have been working like an abused pack mule this week, trying to stay caught up on photo editing/biz running and content for this blog simultaneously, and I'm proud to say that I am KILLING IT. It is absolutely amazing what one can accomplish when one has zero time with which to procrastinate. I work better under the gun, and that's just the way it is. Speaking of procrastinating, did anyone see this hilarious article? I relate, I really do. Or, at least I USED to. Muhahaha. 

*side note: if you wrote me an email in the last 30 days, you will receive a reply. Eventually. I've put my SOML inbox on hold until I get all my clients' photos out to them. Thank you for understanding!

Today's the last day of "5 Days of Giveaways", and we're giving away WINNER'S CHOICE of ONE FREE PAIR OF SHOEMINT SHOES! If you haven't heard of ShoeMint, it's a free, members-only website and the brainchild of Rachel Bilson and stylist Nicole Chavez (all shoes manufactured by Steve Madden, so you know they're good!). The styles are super high quality yet affordable, and new items are added monthly based on newest trends. You answer some fun questions (multiple choice! ha!) to receive your own personalized style recs, and woila! Awesome shoes appear before you. I had the opportunity to pick a pair for this post, and I went with the sweet boots in the photos. I'm still seriously questioning my own judgement for not going for these though. Hrmph.

See below for giveaway details!

because we don't get to see enough badonk-a-donk here in Blogland. And yes, I occasionally wear leggings as pants.

Shirt: Stitch Fix, Boots: c/o ShoeMint, Bag: c/o Ruche

If you'd like to enter for your chance to win one free pair of ShoeMint shoes, the entry requirements are simple. Please visit ShoeMint, sign up for a membership (super easy and free), and come back here and comment on this post with the pair of shoes you'd like to win. If you decide to purchase a pair, you'll receive 20% off through the above link! (for first time purchases/members.)

Giveaway open to U.S. and Canada residents only. GOOD LUCK! :)

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Cranberry pants

Shirt and pants: Stitch Fix, 

Shoes: c/o Minnetonka, 

Necklace: c/o T&J Designs

You know, it's the weirdest thing. These photos were actually shot this morning, during about the two hour window when it was still sunny, breezy, and calm outside. Then in a matter of about 30 minutes, something wild blew in, and it's straight up winter out now. Grey skies, strong winds, and COLD. I absolutely love it. Looking forward to a day of warm flannel, hot coffee, and editing, editing, editing.  Seriously, my favorite kind of day. :)

In other news, I haven't talked much about Stitch Fix lately, but can I just say my fixes have been blowing my mind? This whole outfit arrived in my box yesterday, and not only is it my style, but it fits to a T. I really think you have to give them a few tries to really nail your style, and lots of feedback. I've been getting 2-4 items I absolutely love in every box lately! So much fun. 

(this post is in no way sponsored by Stitch Fix, but I do get referral credit if you sign up through my link!)

Anyway, have a beautiful day, you guys! 

Shirt and pants: Stitch Fix, 

Shoes: c/o Minnetonka, 

Necklace: c/o T&J Designs

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A thank you + a sweet Minnetonka giveaway

Checkered shirt and pants: J. Crew, Blue shirt: Banana Republic, Shoes: c/o Minnetonka Moccasins

You guys! Can I just say a humongous thank you for your response to yesterday's post? 

It's funny, because it took me like an hour and half to crank out those three little paragraphs... that's how uninspired and verbally constipated I've been feeling lately, when it comes to blogging. And I had a very "meh" attitude about what the response would be. I thought there would be a few nice comments and maybe a lot of radio silence from all those who would be thinking to themselves, "yeah, time to retire the blog now, Jenni, you kind of do suck." I really didn't count on such thoughtful and insightful comments from so many of you, and they really lifted my spirits and reminded me exactly why I fell in love with blogging in the first place. So thank you. That really, really means a lot to me. I can't promise this blog won't be marginally sucky in November, since my ass is literally glued to my chair editing photos and generally running a business all week, but I do feel a lot more motivated going forward, to bring this blog back to something that I'm really proud of. 

Switching gears here, one thing I can say I AM proud of is that the advertisers I have on board this month are really top notch and I am so happy to be working with them. Today concludes my three styled Minnetonka moccasins, and with that conclusion comes a giveaway of one of the three said pairs, to one happy reader! Scroll down for your chance to win. :) Happy Tuesday, and again, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Checkered shirt and pants: J. Crew, Blue shirt: Banana Republic, Shoes: c/o Minnetonka Moccasins

Win one of these three pairs of mocs! Enter in the Rafflecopter below. And check out the SOML Q&A feature on the Minnetonka blog here! :)

one | two | three

*OPEN TO U.S. RESIDENTS ONLY*

a Rafflecopter giveaway

When a blog starts to suck

Shirt: c/o Lulu's, Leggings: gifted, Bag: Ruche, Shoes: c/o Minnetonka

Last week I received a comment from a reader about how much my blog is sucking lately, and I must say, I have to agree with her. 

When I started this blog three years ago, I was 23 years old and a housewife. I had almost no other responsibilities, so I decided to treat blogging like my full time job. I poured myself into it, and I don't regret that one single bit. I owe this blog and my wonderful readers so much. It has honestly been such a fun ride, and has taught me so much.

But I am an all or nothing kind of girl. I'm not very good at being awesome at more than one thing at a time, and lately, my all has gone to my photography business. Because I truly love it, yes, but also due to pure necessity. We need my business to pay our bills until Matthew finishes school and finds a job, which won't be for another 6+ months. So naturally, I have been investing a great deal of time, energy, and creativity into the biz (which, I'm happy to say, is booming), leaving very little for this blog. In turn, there's been too much sponsor stuff because I lack inspiration and don't have enough time to create great content in between advertorial posts, and I just feel like the authenticity and FUN is gone. For the first time, blogging has felt like an annoying chore, like scrubbing a toilet, but I've continued doing it because it provides a little bit of income that we need. But I've been frustrated and annoyed by all of the trying too hard, and all of the curated realities... and mine is one of them. 

So what am I saying here? To be perfectly honest, I don't even really know myself. I don't want to shut this blog down completely. That would feel like cutting off an appendage, actually. It's become such a part of who I am. But I know that when you do something half-heardedly, when it no longer brings you joy, it starts to show. So I am in the process of majorly rethinking how I want blogging to fit into my life, and I guess I just ask for your patience while I do so. In the future, probably starting in December or January, I see a lot less advertorial stuff and probably a bit less posting, in general. The old phrase, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" comes to mind. I'd love to blog when I have something I really want to share, not because I'm trying to fit in a certain number of posts in between sponsor-related posts. 

Blogging is weird. 

the first of november

 Pants (in black denim), shirt, and bag: Target, Jacket: Loft, Shoes (in mocha): c/o Minnetonka Moccasins

November 1st. This month is always full of so much excitement and promise for me, though this time around it also promises to quite possibly be the busiest of my professional life yet. Yesterday I was feeling a little panicky as I looked over my schedule for the next few weeks - fifteen photo shoots (one of which involves 52 students at a dance company!) and, towards the end of the month, we might, *MIGHT* be closing on our house (dare we hope?). I found myself physically shaking as I answered client emails yesterday (not sure if this had to do with the panic or all the coffee consumed by that point - probably both), and I had to sort of slow myself down and have a little pep talk... with myself. Jenni, you got this. There is absolutely no reason why you won't have this month in the bag. You are doing something that gives you and others great joy, and what a privilege that is. Slow down... breath... relax... you got this.

November will be a month of busy-ness and, if there's time, also re-evaluating and re-stratigizing. I feel a strong need to take a hard look at how this blog fits into my life, how I'd like to run it in 2014, and I also feel the need to strongly consider changing my pricing strategy for my business. I don't want to spread myself too thin. No one likes a person spread too thin. You lose your potency, in all aspects of life, and I don't want that to happen to me. 

But as for November. Bring it on.  I will kick your ass, November. That's a promise.

In this post and the following two after it, I'll be styling three pairs of Minnetonka moccasins, which, by the way, is one of my absolute favorite brands of shoes. Remember this post where I mentioned feeling tired of wearing clothes that aren't really "me, " and the pact I made with myself not to compromise on that anymore? Well, this is the antithesis of that post. These moccasins are soft, ridiculously comfortable, and if "me" could be a shoe for a day, I'd be these mocs. Of the three I'll be styling, this "deerskin soft" style is the comfiest, but they are all so cute. We'll give away a pair the third day, too! Stay tuned. :)

 Pants (in black denim), shirt, and bag: Target, Jacket: Loft, Shoes (in mocha): c/o Minnetonka Moccasins

Now please take just a moment to show today's featured SOML sponsors some love... Happy FRIDAY! :)

* * * * *

Hi guys, I’m Dee! I am an expat based in Singapore and I work in corporate finance by day and on my blog called Deecoded by night. If I had to describe myself in one word, I guess it would be: STORYTELLER. I like to tell stories through words and pictures (and sometimes, gestures). Some people have said that I tell stories so vividly, in such a way that makes the listener/reader feel as though they were going through my experiences first-hand. And what stories do I tell? Ones that I read from books, or see on television or movies, sometimes, but mostly stuff that happens in my own life – like that time I watched a movie in a luxury cinema all by myself, or that time I played dodge ball and fell into an open pit, or that time I risked leaving my hometown to move to another city with only $50 in pocket money. I enjoy the moments and savor the experiences, good or bad, because they all make good storytelling material. So come read about them! I’d love an audience. :)

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Why hello there little jelly beans! My name is Belinda and I am the gal behind the blog Found Love, Now What? My blog is my attempt to make sense of this thing we call life, one cup of Starbucks selfie at a time. Life for me is chalked with adventure, especially since I moved to Wales in the summer of 2012 to be with my British husband. {Read our long distance love story here.} My blog is filled with adventures in the UK from castles to stunning natural wonders, and musings as an expat. I also chat about following your blogging heart, while tackling some honest topics close to my heart. I love nothing more than sharing our imperfectly perfect life on my blog. Hop on over and say hello! 

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Hi there! I'm Rachel, the blogger behind With Love, Rachel . I am a Southern California girl through and through, which means you'll likely find me in flip flops year around (unless it gets below 60 degrees, because that is cold, yo!) I'm an adjunct professor of writing at a university in Southern California, but don't worry; I'm not as serious or boring as my job makes me sound. When I'm not teaching, I'm experimenting with healthy recipes or travelling the world, and you can find a whole lot of that on my blog. My recent safari in Africa was a dream come true, because I LOVE animals and can geek out about them all day. In my Weekend Safari series, I share my take on some of my favorite animals, along with a bunch of crazy fun facts. Feel free to geek out or be silly over at With Love, Rachel any time! 

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Five inches

Shirt: Target, Pants: Stitch Fix, Boots (or here): Hunter, Bag: thrifted, Hat: Banana Republic

That's how much hair I cut off my head yesterday. I may have lost a pound or two. However, I already miss my long(er) hair. But alas, it will grow back. 

In other news, it has rained here for about a week straight, so my wellies are getting lots of good use. Other than that, I'm just busy finishing up a lot of work before we leave for a Mexico trip next week, hence the rather sparse posting.  I'm photographing a small corporate event there (and pretty excited about it, I might add!). We used to go on awesome trips through Matthew's old job, and now my job is sending us on 'em!  Sweet. 

Happy Thursday...

Shirt: Target, Pants: Stitch Fix, Boots (or here): Hunter, Bag: thrifted, Hat: Banana Republic

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New shop obsession: Salt City Emporium (+ a giveaway!)

{ Leggings c/o Salt City Emporium, Shirt and sandals: Old Navy, Necklace c/o Noonday Collection }

Two recipe posts in a row and then two outfit posts in a row? What is this blog coming to?

Anyway, have you heard of Salt City Emporium? The leggings in these photos might just be my favorite thing I've ever been gifted by a Story of My Life sponsor. I've seen cute-patterned leggings around the web, usually for little kids, and when I was offered the opportunity to try the adult version, I was all over it. I didn't expect these to be so ridiculously comfortable, though. I mean, obviously leggings are comfortable by nature, but these are soft like silk (made of Polyester and Spandex) and just feel like wearing air. How's that for an endorsement? Check out their kids stuff here and their women's stuff here!

One SOML reader will win a pair of Salt City Emporium leggings of their very own, so be sure and enter in the Rafflecopter form below.  GOOD LUCK!

(and YES, these photos were taken inside our new house! It's such an interesting blank slate for photos right now... kind of fun!)

{ Leggings c/o Salt City Emporium, Shirt and sandals: Old Navy, Necklace c/o Noonday Collection }

and a few other pairs from the website... (scroll down for giveaway!)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Don't go to bed angry, and other fallacies

Jacket: Stitch Fix (my fixes have been rocking lately!), Shirt: J. Crew, Jeans: Banana Republic, Boots: Franco Sarto, Glasses: c/o Penn Avenue Eyewear

Before I start this (very short) story, you will need some background info. You see, Matthew is a germaphobe. Germaphobe through and through, and this affliction condition trait has only worsened become more intense in him over the last year or so, because he has been sick pretty often and is just fed up with it, I suppose. So we are those people who bring Wet Ones to the movie theater and airport and restaurant and grocery store, etc. I distinctly remember our first date, when Matthew excused himself to wash his hands before dinner. I was like "what? Oh! Okay! I, uh, washed my hands a bit ago when I went to the bathroom (four hours earlier, oops). But I was impressed. A guy with good hygiene, nice!  Fast forward five years and his germaphobia is no longer quite as endearing, but it is what it is. He has good reason to be this way, so I try to be sensitive to that fact.  OK. Background info complete. 

Over the weekend, Matthew and I both woke in the wee hours of Saturday morning with sore throats, which is pretty much the most calamitous thing that could happen in Matthew's world, based on his long history with strep throat. Naturally, he blamed me for his affliction (since I am not nearly as clean as he is) and commenced banging shit around at 1:45 in the morning in search of cough drops. I thought to myself whatever! and rolled over and went back to sleep. Due to my excellent immune system (muhahaha), the bug blew right over me and never really turned into anything, but Matthew's blossomed into full-on strep throat. Despite that, he left for the ranch to help his dad out with some stuff, all the while harboring a grudge against me and my germiness, which came to a head that evening when we chatted on the phone, once again, about how insufficient my hand washing is, etc, etc, and how I should be more sensitive to his fragile state of health. I was (am) PMSing, and this has become a sensitive topic between us in recent months, so shit hit the fan and escalated until Matthew made the claim he would now cook all his own meals, and I was like "Great! You do that! Bye!" CLICK. 

We went to bed angry. Very angry. And you know what? EVERYTHING IS FINE. We talked about it the next day, both apologized, and it's aaaall good. I see no point in duking it out when everyone is tired and sick and/or on a hormonal rampage. That could definitely make things worse, and people could say things they never meant to say, and do damage. I don't know about you, but everything looks so much less unforgivable to me in the morning.

How does this tie into today's outfit post? Well, I feel the same concept applies to picking outfits. Sometimes it's just better to wait 'til morning, when you're not like "I AM NOT FASHIONABLE, I CANNOT EVEN PUT TOGETHER A SHIRT AND PANTS." Not that that happened.

Such deep thoughts this morning. Now go forth and conquer your day! ;)

Jacket: Stitch Fix (my fixes have been rocking lately!), Shirt: J. Crew, Jeans: Banana Republic, Boots: Franco Sarto, Glasses: c/o Penn Avenue Eyewear

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