Happy February, see you in March

I haven't blogged in over a week, and it has been the weirdest thing - the first time in years that I took a little time off of blogging for reasons other than vacation or a loss in my family. I took the week off of blogging simply because I have nothing to say, and because my heart just isn't in it right now. The funny thing is, though, I am happier than I've been in longer than I can remember. I wake up every morning in love with my home and my family, and excited to get to work on a business I'm so passionate about. A million thoughts are swimming around in my head 24/7, and none of them have to do with blogging, or even leave any room for thoughts about blogging. I truly am a one-thing-at-a-time kind of girl. That worries me for when we have children, but that's another post for another day.

I haven't really read another blog in weeks, maybe months, and I'm OK with that.

I don't have the urge to share every aspect of every moment of my life anymore (slight exaggeration), and I'm OK with that.

I don't miss outfit posts at all, and the way planning for the next one always made me feel like my wardrobe isn't good enough. Now it all just seems silly.

Bottom line, I think I've grown out of what my blog was before. I think it served it's purpose for a time, and I have no regrets. But now I need to really figure out what I want this blog to be going forward.

One thing I know for sure is that most readers can just tell when your heart isn't in it. I believe that everything you do in life will be received one thousand times better if you do it from a place of true joy and passion for that work. And I just haven't had that for blogging since somewhere in the fall, and I think I need to take a step back and re-evaluate. I don't think I'll ever decide to shut this blog down. I really, truly do enjoy blogging. Or at least I did, and I think I can get that back. I just need a break.

So I'm taking February off. February, because it's a shorter month, and because it's a cold month, and because it's the month of Matthew's birthday and our anniversary and the Bar Exam, and because there's a lot of brand maintenance I'd like to fully devote myself to in the next few weeks, before the blossoming of a busy spring for my photography business.

I'll be be back in March. March begins my favorite time of year in Austin, and it just seems like the perfect time to start fresh here. I'm going to really try to devote myself to getting caught up in February - caught up on putting my home together, caught up on emails in my blog inbox, caught up on that brand maintenance I mentioned, and hopefully all of that catching up will leave me invigorated and creative again when it comes to this online space that really is so dear to me.

I'll still be posting as per usual on Instagram if you'd like to keep up with me there, otherwise, I'll see you all back here in a few weeks. Happy February and happy month of love... :)

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Snow Day

Overnight we had a light dusting of snow, and basically the whole city has shut down since. And I don't blame them. I almost died trying to get a couple pictures of the "snow" out on my front driveway this morning. Treacherours conditions, indeed. But no seriously. Be careful this morning, fellow Texans! That ice is slick!

Yesterday I took the day "off" to run errands and drive all over tarnation looking for a chest of drawers to put in my office, only to wind up coming home defeated and empty-handed, and so frustrated that there was still so much stuff strewn about my office floor and nowhere to put it, that I forced Matthew to bring the large Pottery Barn buffet cabinet we'd been keeping in the garage (since we downsized, a lot of our old stuff doesn't fit in the new place) into my office so I could have some storage space already, damn it. So now I am utilizing a rather oddly placed dining room buffet that smells faintly of mold from our flooded Pod, and you know what? It's a place to put shit until further notice, and I literally breathed a sigh of relief to see a my tidy office space this morning. Snow day + clean office + tortilla soup in the crock pot + editing & coffee = my idea of a fairly nice Friday. :)

Hope you all have a fabulous weekend, and I'll see you back here next week!

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Workaholic

The other day I was accused of being a “workaholic,” and while my first instinct was to react (badly, of course), I chose not to really react at all, and instead just sort of let this accusation marinate a bit. Thought about it, weighed it out, asked myself if this was a good or a bad thing, what it means for people in my life… etc, etc. I’ve been thinking about it ever since, so naturally, I had to blog it out. How does anyone without a blog sort out all their feelings? I have no idea. ;)

Lately I have found myself in this strange quandary where I always feel busy, always feel behind, can never fully enjoy being in the moment because my brain is always ten steps ahead of me, pushing me, propelling me forward, causing me a perpetual sense of anxiety and inability to be fully present in anything. I always feel like the crazed rabbit from Alice In Wonderland… “We’re late, we’re late! For a very important date!” and I’d need more than two hands to count all the times I’ve said to someone in my life lately “I’m so BUSY. I’m so BEHIND on work.” In other words, “I don’t have time for you.” 

AND I HATE THAT. I don’t want to be that person. No one likes that person. I think, after mulling it over a while, I’ve decided that being a workaholic isn’t necessarily a bad thing depending on the context, but in my case, I think it IS a bad thing. I need desperately to learn balance. I think it’s especially hard for a young business owner to find balance when there is ALWAYS more to be done. The future of your business is 100% in YOUR hands. Each and every responsibility that comes with running your business (in my case, marketing, communication with clients, packaging design, shipping, contracts, web design and copy, bookkeeping  [or lack thereof], location scouting, shooting, editing, networking, rebranding, blogging sessions, planning for the future, etc, etc, etc - not including ANYTHING to do with running this blog and creating good content here!) falls entirely into YOUR lap, and no one else’s. It really cannot be delegated, unless you hire an intern. You must simply sit down to your work each day, accomplish as much as you can in order of priority, and when it’s time to clock out at 6:00 o’clock or whenever you decide to call it a day, it’s so important to say to yourself “I did all I could today, and I am proud of my work. My work is not finished, but it will never be. And that’s OK. Tomorrow I will chip away at more, and everything will be OK. But now, NOW I will go be present in my home and in my REAL life with people I love.”

So much easier said than done. But today I’m asking myself for grace. And calm. And peace. I want to ENJOY my work. And then I want to ENJOY my life. At the end of this day, my work will not be finished. I will not be “all caught up.” I don’t think “all caught up” will exist for me anymore. But it IS important to understand when work is done for the day. It IS important to stop using the “busy” language.  YOU create the environment you exist in. You create it with your words and with your actions. With how much work you take on, and the price tag you place on your time. So my project now is to be mindful of creating that serenity I so crave in my life. To choose it and embody it and be it, for myself and those around me.

Amen, and amen. 

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Something I've been working on

These days my thoughts have been utterly consumed by the possibilities of this gorgeous new studio space I'm currently sharing with another photographer. I've always felt like boudoir photography was where my business would eventually wind up, and this new space is turning dreams into reality. I am absolutely addicted to the loveliness that is boudoir - every part of it is fulfilling and fun for me. Boudoir photography isn't for every photographer, but ever since my very first session I've know that it's for me. 

I hesitate to say too much off the get-go, because so many things are still in the planning stages - like new branding, a separate website for boudoir, and of course marketing to a whole new set of people. But I am excited. So, so excited. It's nice to feel like where you're meant to be. I'll keep you posted as things progress! 

Here's a little peek at what's to come, as well as a special I'm currently running. If you're in Austin, I would love to have you in the studio! 

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8 PM on Thursdays

Oh man, you guys... I am writing this on Thursday evening, just after a phone call with my sweet Grandpa. Over the holidays he was in town with us from his home in Oregon, and I had the opportunity to listen and write down his answers to about the first half of the questions in this book. I had given the books to him and my Grandma each for Christmas last year, only she passed away suddenly in March, as many of you know, and I will never get to hear or read those priceless answers. But on Christmas Eve this year we took out his Grandpa book, and I started to ask and listen and write, and where before he had been incredibly, tangibly "low" as he faced his first Christmas in sixty-some years without the love of his life, we watched and noticed as his spirits were visibly lifted during and after answering the questions. He was telling his story. He was revisiting memories he'd had no cause to revisit in maybe years or decades. He was being listened to, and cared about.

During the time my Grandpa was there staying at my mom's, Matthew and I moved out and into our new home, and a few days later we had them over for dinner at the new place.

"Are you going to interrogate me again tonight?" My Grandpa asked hopefully, and I laughed. "Absolutely!" Again, it was so sweet to see how much he seemed to be enjoying this.

But we didn't get to finish the book, so I offered to call him every Thursday evening at 8 PM my time and 6 PM his, and we'd go over a few of the questions each chat. His home phone in Oregon must have rang at about 5:59, and he picked up after barely two rings... most likely waiting by the phone.

"Hello?" He said.

"Hi Grandpa!"

"Jen?"

"Yep, it's me! Ready for your interrogation?"

And you guys, I cannot even tell you how much it touched me tonight, to chat for 22 minutes with a man who should have died in the Korean War, but didn't... a man without whom I wouldn't exist. I can't tell you how much it touched me to hear him re-tell the story of how he met my Grandma. How he first laid eyes on her in the hallway of their Passaic Valley, New Jersey high school, after he got back from the war. She was with at least three other girls, he said, but he locked eyes on her. "If it's possible to fall in love at first sight," he told me, his voice breaking as it often does, "I fell in love. She was it, my whole life."

There's probably about a month's worth of Thursday phone calls left, but I don't know, I might just make up my own questions so it lasts longer. It is such an honor and a privilege to take that time. I know it's helping him through an incredibly difficult time, and somehow, it's helping me too. We so often live in such a world of ME ME ME, so focused on our own issues and endeavors and hurts and pains and joys, that we forget to reach out and be there for the people who were put in our lives to be there for. Don't ignore your grandparents - make time for them, get to know them, love on them. I wish I had done that more for my Grandma, but I'm content to know she knew that I adored her, and it really feels like the right thing to do, to help care for my Grandpa's heart in her absence.

Happy Friday, my friends, and thank you as always for listening to my thoughts... :)

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Don't hate me, but I hate weddings

Well, the cat's out of the bag. I hate weddings. PHEW. There, I said it! This little nugget of personal truth has been festering in me for some time now - really, ever since my own wedding, I suppose. But there it is. I don't like 'em. I'm not a fan. Sure, they can be totally gorgeous and fun for guests (I do enjoy attending them occasionally! Free food and booze! Celebration of love!), and I love looking at beautiful wedding photography, but there's always this little nagging voice in my mind that's like, seriously? 

Let me back up.

I was never one of those girls who dreamed about her princess-perfect wedding from the age of Barbies onward. I think the first time I thought about my wedding was, literally, after Matthew proposed to me. Then I was like, "oh shit! We'll need a wedding!" 

And from there on out, it was just a totally stressful affair, because A) I am not an event planner, B) hiring one wasn't in our budget, C) no really, I truly SUCK at planning events, and organizing little details goes directly against the grain of my personality, D) I was in the last semester of my senior year of college, working almost full time, and working an internship part time, E) my groom was living in California, and F) I DON'T EVEN LIKE WEDDINGS. 

So then all of this weird stuff started happening, like resentment because we couldn't afford the most gorgeous flowers and the most fantastic wedding favors and the most stunning venue. 

And frustration because everyone had an opinion, and it seemed like mine and Matthew's should be the only ones that mattered. 

And annoyance over arbitrary traditions and rules that everyone seems to follow like sheep, never asking "Why? Does this apply in modern day weddings? Does this work for our situation?" 

And money down the drain for things that poof! and disappeared the moment the wedding was over and everyone rushed home to watch the Super Bowl (because yes, our wedding was on Super Bowl Sunday afternoon - a direct consequence of having ME plan ANY event, ever).

Now, it may just sound like I'm bitter over my own personal issues with weddings. And in many ways, my own experience certainly does play a role. But I recently read this article, and it perfectly voiced how I feel and what I could never say as eloquently. 

"Imagine for a moment if weddings were prohibited, or better yet, if you could only have one after 10 years of marriage. How much money would be saved? More importantly, how many ill-advised unions would never happen in the first place?"

"And what if, as a society, we celebrated other milestones instead? Wouldn't it be amazing if college graduations were given the wedding treatment? If the commencement ceremony included a $3,000 dress and a $70-a-plate dinner for friends and family who came in from all over the country? Photographers, flowers, dancing, a band?"

Amen to that! And no one will ever take your degree away. Whereas, statistically, your marriage license only has a 50% likelihood of staying in force for a lifetime. 

I don't think weddings are all bad. I think, for some people, it can be a super joyous planning process, and perhaps you've saved for it or your family has saved for it, and so the money isn't an issue. I guess all I'm saying is that I hope you unmarried ladies out there will really think it over before allowing  yourself and your family to bleed copious amounts of cash out into your wedding, and before you allow the planning of it to take over your life and put undue stress on your relationships, or cause others (bridesmaids, groomsmen) a financial burden they maybe can't afford (they may be in other weddings, as well, and that gets SO pricey!). Before you put the planning of a wedding before the planning of a life. HERE is another really beautiful article with REAL TALK about marriage, which I highly recommend you read. No two marriages are alike, but it's really wise to be prepared for what will inevitably happen at some point after riding off into the sunset.

What are your thoughts? Love weddings? Hate them? Sound off if you have something to contribute to the conversation!

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A peek at our new place

Words cannot even describe how happy we are to be in our new place... we're still surrounded by mess for the most part, and it will take weeks or months more before we're truly settled in, but to have this space of our own back, and to finally enjoy the fruits of nine long months of waiting... pure awesomeness. :)

I'm going to whine for one more minute about the process, and then you'll never hear a peep about it from me again. But for posterity's sake, I feel the need to mention one more time how frustrating it was to get here.

This is not a custom home. It's a small (by Texas standards), 2200 square foot track home, albeit a very beautiful quality one, which is why we chose the builder we chose. However, in the interest of sales, we were essentially deceived into believing our home would take four to five months to build, when this was contrary to everything our builder most definitely knew about the upcoming process. We said to ourselves it would probably take about six months, since these things never go as planned, and we signed on the dotted lines. From there on out, absolutely NOTHING went as planned. We signed the first week of April, and framing didn't even go up 'til mid July. Our "worst case scenario" October move-in date rolled around, and the home had barely just been drywalled. Then we were told we'd be in by November. Then we were told we'd be in by Thanksgiving. Then we were told we'd be in by December 16th or sooner. But in reality, we closed the day after Christmas, just after construction manager number four had taken over.

The truth of the matter is that we would have never in a million years chosen to build if we'd known it would take nine months, and if we'd known we would impose on my mom's hospitality for four months longer than we estimated, but it is what it is, and we're here now, and we have a really lovely home to show for it. So that's that.

Here's a little glimpse of the mess we're so, so glad and grateful to finally call home...

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Changes to Story of My Life in 2014

Because this picture makes me chuckle. Gracie is like "no more pictures, ma!"

Happy third of January, my friends! Hope you had a fabulous week-after-Christmas as we're all easing back into regular life. My office is still a bit chaotic here, but I've cleared off a nice little space for myself, and I'm mostly back in business. :)

I've been wanting to outline the changes you'll be seeing here on SOML in the coming months, most notably to how I run my advertising. To cut to the chase, I will be majorly scaling back the advertorial content on this blog - to the tune of no more Friday Features and less sidebar ads in general. The content on this blog will be purely my own, with the exception of a (maybe) weekly giveaway, occasional courtesy-of items worked into style posts as usual, and very occasional reviews if I'm offered an opportunity I think you'll enjoy hearing about. 

Why am I cutting back on advertising, you ask? For a couple main reasons, really. One, my attention has turned a great deal towards my photography business (which has much more income-earning potential than this blog), and I don't feel I have the time and energy to run a really booming blog-business anymore. I don't like to half-ass things, so something had to give. I was previously running giveaways on Tuesdays and Friday Features on Fridays, which put a lot of pressure on me to put up lots of other original content in between those posts. That isn't sustainable for me anymore, as my clients and my business have to be my #1 priority. So, no more Friday Features. 

My second over-arching reason for this is because blogging has not felt fun for me in a long time. I started this blog way-back-when in 2010 because I love to write and I love to connect with people, and then it morphed and changed into something else for a while (more of a business), and that was totally OK while it lasted. I have zero regrets. But that way of running things doesn't work for me anymore, and so I'm changing it. I'm going to get back to my roots a bit and blog because I love to write and I love to create good content that comes from an inspired place - a place I haven't been in far too long.

So what does that mean for you? Not really a whole lot, I guess. You'll just see less advertorial stuff (which, let's face it, no one really loves as much as original content anyway), and probably a little less posting in general. I'm going to aim for about three times per week. 

Also, if you have been thinking about advertising with me, here's a little more info on the changes now in place for my sponsors:

+ there will now be no more than 20 sidebar sponsor ads at a time (where previously there were 30-35)

+ sidebar ads are now more affordable to reflect the fact that blogger-sponsors will no longer receive a   

  "feature," however I didn't drop the prices TOO low because I still expect you'll receive a lot of good 

   traffic since there are about 33% less sidebar ads to compete with on click-throughs. 

+ Shop sponsor ad spots cost a tad bit more because they also come with an individual giveaway, 

   which brings a lot more exposure to your business than just the sidebar ad alone.  

All pricing info and more details HERE. I will be accepting new sponsors beginning in February, as I am still currently phasing out some sidebar ads to bring my tally down to 20. 

On a final note, thank you all for sticking with me as this blog (and me! and my life!) has changed bit by bit. I don't know where I would be right now without this supportive community and how it's helped me to come into myself, so to speak. I am forever grateful and indebted. I am still about two solid months behind on emails, so if you've written me a personal note lately, I WILL respond sometime in 2014. Hehe. Thank you again for your patience.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

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Looking back, Looking forward

Man oh man, I have been trying to blog for days now, but this moving stuff is tough business. I must completely agree with Matt Walsh's blog post today, in which he advises "If you are thinking about moving, remember to carefully gather together all of the items in your house — and burn them. Burn them all. Just throw them into a pile and burn them. Travel to your new location with only lint in your pocket and a dream in your heart." Amen to that. It is almost gross how many possessions one accumulates without even fully realizing the extent of it until one must unpack or pack them into boxes.

Anyway. This is really the first chance I've had to sit down and reflect on 2013 and/or dream about the new year to come. A lot went down in 2013 - some good things, some tough things. I am not one of those persons who shies away from making New Years resolutions because they think its lame or pointless or cliche or what have you. On the contrary - the first of the year is my favorite time because it just feels so fresh, like a blank notebook or a brand new appliance. Ha. Maybe it's all in our heads, sure, but what's wrong with choosing a day of the year to fully acknowledge the power we have to start fresh? The key, though, of course, is to remember that power stays with us every single day and every single minute. 

I can't say that I'm terribly sad to leave 2013 behind. It was a tough year in some aspects, consisting of loss and unknowns and leaps of faith and lots of waiting.  Going into 2014, we seem to have fresh starts on several fronts - our new home, most notably, and hopefully a job for Matthew here pretty soon. The foreseeable future is all so exciting, and that's just nice. After a year of blah, 2014 is looking mighty fine. But still, I'd like to take a time out and just review some of the highlights and lowlights of 2013, for posterity's sake. I really enjoy looking back on these "year in review" posts on my own blog, and hopefully some of you may enjoy peeking back in time a bit, too, whether for the first time or for the second.

Let's take a little trip down memory lane...

* * * * *

JANUARY

+ Took our annual trip to Fredericksburg and stayed at the gorgeous Buckhorn Cabin. 
+ Also blogged about some great Austin restaurants like Gourdoughs and Eastside Cafe.   


FEBRUARY

+ Wrote the "3 Years of Marital Blish" post - still one of my most popular posts 
+ Wrote Advice For Bloggers Vol. 1 (the crazies: they could happen to you) and Vol. 2 (blogging your life)
+ Posted on great Austin restaurants like Foodheads and Hula Hut

MARCH

+ Wrote "The People I Come From" post just a few weeks before unexpectedly losing my beautiful Grandma to a hemorrhage in her brain
+ Launched the j. noel photography website
+ Reviewed Austin restaurants Walton's and Winflo

APRIL

+ Things my Grandma told me
+ Posted on Houndstooth Coffee, La Condesa, and Epicerie here in Austin
+ More advice for bloggers: Sponsorships, Gettting paid for blogging, and the "I blog for me!"
+ Announced Blog Every Day In May
+ Sold our old house, packed up and moved out (and in with my mom), and finally announced it all here.

MAY

A heck of a lot of blogging took place in May, thanks to the Blog Every Day In May challenge I hosted. A few highlights:
+ Blogging tip: Taking photos in public places
+ One of my most embarrassing moments
+ Reviewed Pieous in Austin
+ Trip to Florida in photos

JUNE

+ Photography tips for beginners, part 1: how to get started
+ Cenote and the 4th & Guadalupe Farmer's Market
+ Summer fun with family
+ Social media pet peeves

JULY

+The Prairie Part I and Part II
+ Photography tips for beginners, Part II: Starting a business
+ Boards went up on our house!
+ Revealed a secret we'd been keeping

AUGUST

+ Texas Style Council recaps 1 (my first major stint with public speaking!) & 2
+ Some words on budgeting
+ Reviewed WD Deli in San Antonio and Dominican Joe in Austin
+ Went back to the Prairie with my MIL and SIL
+ Announced Blogtember

SEPTEMBER

+ A few j. noel photos
+ A story about a time I almost died in a plane crash
+Reviewed Austin's Lick Ice Creams

OCTOBER

+ Our home build in progress
+ Matthew's 10 Things You Need To Survive the Zombie Apocalypse
+ Mexico Trip Part I, Part II, and Part III

NOVEMBER

+ Fall in Austin
+ Reasons why you should probably never build a house
+ Are you living up to your potential?

DECEMBER

+ Turned 27 and didn't have much time to think about it
+ Took a trip to WYOMING!
+ Matthew graduated law school
+ Finally got some family photos! :)
+ Christmas
+ Aaaand we closed on our house the day after Christmas, but I haven't posted on that quite yet. Coming soon in 2014. :)

Thanks for traveling back in time with me today... have a wonderful second day of the New Year! :0

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Christmas 2013

Hey hey, how was your Christmas this year? The past week has been a complete whirlwind. I started my meager Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve (about a day after getting all caught up on photography work), then of course celebrated with family on Christmas day, and the day after Christmas we finally, FINALLY closed on our house, and have been moving in ever since! (follow along on Instagram for updates in real time!) More on that later, because right now I just want to take a time out to look back on Christmas this year. 

To be honest, I almost feel like we skipped the whole Christmas season because I didn't have much time to enjoy it and because so much of what makes me feel in the spirit of things centers around my own home... which, obviously, we weren't in yet during the entire season. However, it was certainly an unforgettable holiday spend with people we love, and that's something to be grateful for.

Some in my family were hurting this year - it was my mom's first Christmas without her mom, my sweet Grandma, and my Grandpa's first Christmas without his sweetheart in over 60 years. The holidays have a way of bringing out the most blissful happiness but also the deepest despair at times, don't they? They tend to remind you both of what you have and what you miss. A strange jumble of emotions.

I can't tell you how excited I am, though, about the coming year ahead. I cannot wait to have my home and office all set up and ready to show you, and I can't wait for the work that will be done there, both professionally and personally.

Enjoy your day and week ahead, my friends!

morning at my mom's...

and evening at Matt's parents'....

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