Josephine House

I haven't been getting out much lately, but yesterday I met a friend at a new-ish little spot downtown called Josephine House. The cuteness factor was out of this world, so of course I had to document it a bit. What a great spot for lunch, snacks, or an evening drink with a date. Perfection.

house-made vanilla-cherry soda (I'll try cucumber next!) ^ 

My friend Kate's baby is the cutest and sweetest baby on the planet...

Sweet potato beignets with serrano & honey glaze... I was skeptical at first, but they were to die for. Complete savory sweet awesomeness....

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A thank you + a sweet Minnetonka giveaway

Checkered shirt and pants: J. Crew, Blue shirt: Banana Republic, Shoes: c/o Minnetonka Moccasins

You guys! Can I just say a humongous thank you for your response to yesterday's post? 

It's funny, because it took me like an hour and half to crank out those three little paragraphs... that's how uninspired and verbally constipated I've been feeling lately, when it comes to blogging. And I had a very "meh" attitude about what the response would be. I thought there would be a few nice comments and maybe a lot of radio silence from all those who would be thinking to themselves, "yeah, time to retire the blog now, Jenni, you kind of do suck." I really didn't count on such thoughtful and insightful comments from so many of you, and they really lifted my spirits and reminded me exactly why I fell in love with blogging in the first place. So thank you. That really, really means a lot to me. I can't promise this blog won't be marginally sucky in November, since my ass is literally glued to my chair editing photos and generally running a business all week, but I do feel a lot more motivated going forward, to bring this blog back to something that I'm really proud of. 

Switching gears here, one thing I can say I AM proud of is that the advertisers I have on board this month are really top notch and I am so happy to be working with them. Today concludes my three styled Minnetonka moccasins, and with that conclusion comes a giveaway of one of the three said pairs, to one happy reader! Scroll down for your chance to win. :) Happy Tuesday, and again, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Checkered shirt and pants: J. Crew, Blue shirt: Banana Republic, Shoes: c/o Minnetonka Moccasins

Win one of these three pairs of mocs! Enter in the Rafflecopter below. And check out the SOML Q&A feature on the Minnetonka blog here! :)

one | two | three

*OPEN TO U.S. RESIDENTS ONLY*

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Pardon my French.

I've seen some interesting comments come through recently on my blog. In full disclosure, I absolutely moderate comments because it's my blog and I can. Unfortunately, there are people who choose to write hurtful things about our open adoption. I know there is tremendous hurt and pain for anyone who has had a negative experience with adoption - whether an adoptee, a birthmother or an adoptive parent - and I would never want to diminish that or cause more hurt to someone already hurting, but I do want to address a comment from someone who asked for me to respond publicly on my blog.  



The writer says this: 

"How wonderful. I can see how poverty prevented you from raising your fist daughter. You really seem to have a hard time making ends meet. How do you explain to your daughter why you gave her away? I'd love for you to share that with your readers." 



Sure, I'd love to share my response with my readers. First of all, I think it's poor judgement to make an assessment of someone's ability to make ends meet based solely on reading their blog. Nevertheless, at this point in my life I'm not having a difficult time making ends meet. And the reason is because I had the opportunity to earn my college degree, to complete multiple unpaid internships, and to serve as a leader with several student organizations on campus - all of this while supporting myself financially for four years - so that when I finally did graduate, I had the education and experience necessary to land a great job that enables me to pay my bills each month. Yes, there was a time when I had trouble making ends meet - and that time was when I was 18-years-old and pregnant. Since that time, I have worked really, really hard to get to the point where I am today, and I'm not ashamed of the hard work I've put in or any of the things I have accomplished. 


I'm not saying that I couldn't have earned a college degree or accomplished great things while raising a child singlehandedly - I know plenty of capable single parents who have done it and done it phenomenally. But I sure as heck am saying that I would not be where I am today, and more importantly, Deanna would not have had the quality of life or opportunities she has been provided with either.  Not to mention having two parents who have been fully committed to her well-being and emotional growth since before she was born, and too-many-to-count people who love her and have positively impacted her life in some way. 



For most of the first few years after placing, I was consumed with guilt and depression. I cried often (in private), wondering how Deanna would feel about her adoption. Would she hate me? Would she want to have a relationship with me when she got older? What questions would she have about her placement and how would I answer them? My faith has gotten me through those difficult times. When I made the choice to follow Christ, I realized that there was a bigger plan and purpose for my life and that sharing my experience with open adoption could help others. Because of Christ, I know that I have been forgiven, redeemed, restored, and made new. Sitting around and feeling sorry for myself was no longer an option. Philippians 4:13 says "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength." That verse gave me strength in those hard times.



To suggest that placing my daughter would only be justified if I weren't able to "make ends meet" - eight years later - makes no sense to me. If someone is truly curious and wants to gain insight about something, by all means, please ask questions. Ask, ask away. I encourage it, and I appreciate an open and honest discussion. But please don't (try) to post anonymous comments with the purposeful intent of making someone feel bad about the choices I have made. By the way, I do have a personal email address that is published on my blog, so you don't have to remain anonymous.   



Something that really bothers me is the public's perception of birthmothers. We're not poverty-stricken, uneducated morons. We're smart, courageous women who made a selfless choice to give our children something we could not provide at the time. We each have our own unique set of not-so-pretty circumstances that played a role in our decisions to place. And our decisions are not always based solely on finances. Society tells us: If you have the finances to raise a child, but you decide to place, then you must be really selfish. Yes, finances are an important factor in deciding whether or not to place a child for adoption because let's face it... you have to be able to support yourself and another human being, but there is so much more to it than that. So much more. There are plenty of people who have more than enough money, but may not be capable of parenting. I can tell you that at 18, I was not financially or emotionally capable of being responsible for the wellbeing of not just myself, but another human being. An incredibly precious one at that. And that's the bottom line. 



So to answer the question, what will I say to my daughter to explain my decision?  To be honest, I'm really not sure.  Will I say the perfect words to make it all better?  No, probably not. But will the words I say come from the depths of my heart and be the complete and honest truth?  You bet. Because of open adoption, I have the privilege of being able to answer any of Deanna's questions at any time. Whenever she wants. Or maybe never if she doesn't want to talk about it. But that choice is ultimately hers now.



That's the beauty of open adoption.  

When a blog starts to suck

Shirt: c/o Lulu's, Leggings: gifted, Bag: Ruche, Shoes: c/o Minnetonka

Last week I received a comment from a reader about how much my blog is sucking lately, and I must say, I have to agree with her. 

When I started this blog three years ago, I was 23 years old and a housewife. I had almost no other responsibilities, so I decided to treat blogging like my full time job. I poured myself into it, and I don't regret that one single bit. I owe this blog and my wonderful readers so much. It has honestly been such a fun ride, and has taught me so much.

But I am an all or nothing kind of girl. I'm not very good at being awesome at more than one thing at a time, and lately, my all has gone to my photography business. Because I truly love it, yes, but also due to pure necessity. We need my business to pay our bills until Matthew finishes school and finds a job, which won't be for another 6+ months. So naturally, I have been investing a great deal of time, energy, and creativity into the biz (which, I'm happy to say, is booming), leaving very little for this blog. In turn, there's been too much sponsor stuff because I lack inspiration and don't have enough time to create great content in between advertorial posts, and I just feel like the authenticity and FUN is gone. For the first time, blogging has felt like an annoying chore, like scrubbing a toilet, but I've continued doing it because it provides a little bit of income that we need. But I've been frustrated and annoyed by all of the trying too hard, and all of the curated realities... and mine is one of them. 

So what am I saying here? To be perfectly honest, I don't even really know myself. I don't want to shut this blog down completely. That would feel like cutting off an appendage, actually. It's become such a part of who I am. But I know that when you do something half-heardedly, when it no longer brings you joy, it starts to show. So I am in the process of majorly rethinking how I want blogging to fit into my life, and I guess I just ask for your patience while I do so. In the future, probably starting in December or January, I see a lot less advertorial stuff and probably a bit less posting, in general. The old phrase, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" comes to mind. I'd love to blog when I have something I really want to share, not because I'm trying to fit in a certain number of posts in between sponsor-related posts. 

Blogging is weird. 

the first of november

 Pants (in black denim), shirt, and bag: Target, Jacket: Loft, Shoes (in mocha): c/o Minnetonka Moccasins

November 1st. This month is always full of so much excitement and promise for me, though this time around it also promises to quite possibly be the busiest of my professional life yet. Yesterday I was feeling a little panicky as I looked over my schedule for the next few weeks - fifteen photo shoots (one of which involves 52 students at a dance company!) and, towards the end of the month, we might, *MIGHT* be closing on our house (dare we hope?). I found myself physically shaking as I answered client emails yesterday (not sure if this had to do with the panic or all the coffee consumed by that point - probably both), and I had to sort of slow myself down and have a little pep talk... with myself. Jenni, you got this. There is absolutely no reason why you won't have this month in the bag. You are doing something that gives you and others great joy, and what a privilege that is. Slow down... breath... relax... you got this.

November will be a month of busy-ness and, if there's time, also re-evaluating and re-stratigizing. I feel a strong need to take a hard look at how this blog fits into my life, how I'd like to run it in 2014, and I also feel the need to strongly consider changing my pricing strategy for my business. I don't want to spread myself too thin. No one likes a person spread too thin. You lose your potency, in all aspects of life, and I don't want that to happen to me. 

But as for November. Bring it on.  I will kick your ass, November. That's a promise.

In this post and the following two after it, I'll be styling three pairs of Minnetonka moccasins, which, by the way, is one of my absolute favorite brands of shoes. Remember this post where I mentioned feeling tired of wearing clothes that aren't really "me, " and the pact I made with myself not to compromise on that anymore? Well, this is the antithesis of that post. These moccasins are soft, ridiculously comfortable, and if "me" could be a shoe for a day, I'd be these mocs. Of the three I'll be styling, this "deerskin soft" style is the comfiest, but they are all so cute. We'll give away a pair the third day, too! Stay tuned. :)

 Pants (in black denim), shirt, and bag: Target, Jacket: Loft, Shoes (in mocha): c/o Minnetonka Moccasins

Now please take just a moment to show today's featured SOML sponsors some love... Happy FRIDAY! :)

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Hi guys, I’m Dee! I am an expat based in Singapore and I work in corporate finance by day and on my blog called Deecoded by night. If I had to describe myself in one word, I guess it would be: STORYTELLER. I like to tell stories through words and pictures (and sometimes, gestures). Some people have said that I tell stories so vividly, in such a way that makes the listener/reader feel as though they were going through my experiences first-hand. And what stories do I tell? Ones that I read from books, or see on television or movies, sometimes, but mostly stuff that happens in my own life – like that time I watched a movie in a luxury cinema all by myself, or that time I played dodge ball and fell into an open pit, or that time I risked leaving my hometown to move to another city with only $50 in pocket money. I enjoy the moments and savor the experiences, good or bad, because they all make good storytelling material. So come read about them! I’d love an audience. :)

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Why hello there little jelly beans! My name is Belinda and I am the gal behind the blog Found Love, Now What? My blog is my attempt to make sense of this thing we call life, one cup of Starbucks selfie at a time. Life for me is chalked with adventure, especially since I moved to Wales in the summer of 2012 to be with my British husband. {Read our long distance love story here.} My blog is filled with adventures in the UK from castles to stunning natural wonders, and musings as an expat. I also chat about following your blogging heart, while tackling some honest topics close to my heart. I love nothing more than sharing our imperfectly perfect life on my blog. Hop on over and say hello! 

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Hi there! I'm Rachel, the blogger behind With Love, Rachel . I am a Southern California girl through and through, which means you'll likely find me in flip flops year around (unless it gets below 60 degrees, because that is cold, yo!) I'm an adjunct professor of writing at a university in Southern California, but don't worry; I'm not as serious or boring as my job makes me sound. When I'm not teaching, I'm experimenting with healthy recipes or travelling the world, and you can find a whole lot of that on my blog. My recent safari in Africa was a dream come true, because I LOVE animals and can geek out about them all day. In my Weekend Safari series, I share my take on some of my favorite animals, along with a bunch of crazy fun facts. Feel free to geek out or be silly over at With Love, Rachel any time! 

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The last from Mexico

This will be the last post on our trip, so after today we're back to our regularly scheduled (boring) programming. :) 

Mexico already feels so far away now... hard to believe we were just there less than a week ago. Today I'm sharing photos from our second to last day, when I had the pleasure of accompanying the group on their tour of a magnificent seaside ranch. We admired the flora and fauna (lots and lots of cactuses!), rode camels on the beach, and were provided the most authentic and delicious Mexican meal I've ever eaten. 

 This cactus is 300 years old!

Thank you for your hospitality, Mexico, and for being so breathtakingly beautiful...

Mexico Part 1 here

Mexico Part 2 here

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